One of the most important items in a Coach’s Toolbox is a good question. Honestly, listening to my mentor coaches during my certification program made me realize that questioning can be an art form. A question is like a key. When you’ve locked yourself out of your car, you call a locksmith who has the equipment and know-how to find the right key shaped to unlock your vehicle. Coaches are a little like locksmiths. When you are locked out of your own wisdom, a good coach will present you with questions to open doors to your inner knowledge.
A coach has all kinds of questions. Some are sleek, designed specifically to slip between that rock and the hard place where you are stuck. Others open like an umbrella to cut down on the glare that impairs your vision. Some questions get their power from the moment in which they are asked, others are constantly challenging.
What’s keeping you from getting exactly what you want and need? This question can be applied at the beginning of every day, or to the big screen of your life. Life puts hurdles in our path. Some hurdles are easy to clear, while others stop us in our tracks. Sometimes we can’t even name the toughest hurdle, but our body reacts so strongly, that we are metaphorically “locked out of our car”: we can’t move forward and we don’t know what inner resource has the power to free us.
Asking yourself, “What’s in my way?” can help to name what you need. If you want your child to see you as an ally, for example, the question can lead you to naming the things that have come between you in the past. Maybe old resentment is in your way, or maybe it’s judgmental behavior. One good question can open a door, get you over a hurdle, and lead you to empowering answers.
How will you know when you’ve unlocked the door? How will you know you’ve asked the right question? The only insurance policy is having a coach to walk the path with you. Sure, you say, she’s selling coaching. But just ask yourself: how many questions can you come up with? How long will it take you to think up new challenging and empowering questions? And will you know how to use them? Just like the person who tries to get the car going without a locksmith, you could struggle through a dozen ill-fitting questions and still not find the right key. Working with a life coach saves you a lot of time, and yes, even money in the long run.
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